Only problem? I had never been in a wedding before (except as one of those girls that gets suckered in to cutting cake. I'm pushing bride-friend to serve cupcakes instead).
I found myself on google, pinterest, any site I could think of, trying desperately to find out what exactly my MOH job entailed. I finally came up with a basic list
Keep in mind these vary by bride. It's always a good idea to meet with your bride-friend in person. If your bride-friend is as laid back as mine, however, you might want to take a basic list of duties with you and go through it with her. I bet there will be some things on your list that she didn't think of.
1. Be excited, always.
-Now I'm not one to make wild assumptions, but as MOH, you are probably a good friend of the bride. And as a good friend, you should be excited for her, always.
Some examples: "Oh my God, you're changing the bridesmaid dresses? I think they will look sooooo pretty. I love yellow taffeta!" or "Oh, Bride-friend, I'm so excited that dress fitting went well!"
Examples of when NOT to be excited include, "You got your period two days before the wedding? Great!" or "They ordered the wrong dress? That's exciting!"
2. Dress shop!
- This was one of my favorite parts of MOHing. Not only will most brides want you to help them pick their own dress, but they'll also want help picking out the bridesmaid dresses. Choose wisely, ladies. If the bride wants your honest opinion, give it to her. But NEVER be brutal. Brides are already in a stressful spot and you shouldn't add to it. If they simply ask, "what do you think?" she's not (NOT!) asking for a honest opinion. Tell her it's beautiful if she likes it.
3. Be "in charge" of the other bridesmaids.
-In my case, bride-friend lived far away, and I didn't know any other bridesmaids. Add them on facebook right away and send out a message saying you're excited to meet them. As MOH, you're responsible for making sure all the maids get their dresses, shoes, jewelry, and attend any fittings before the wedding. Because my bride-friend was planning a wedding in three months, this was crucial. Dresses had to be ordered within a week of their engagement.
4. Bachelorette Party!
-Typically, the bridal shower is thrown by the mother of the bride and her friends. This varies bride to bride. But the bachelorette party is thrown by the MOH with the help of the bridesmaids. Since all the other bridesmaids lived a few hours away, I planned the bachelorette mostly alone. Make sure you don't go overboard here. Keep some of it a surprise, but ask the bride honestly, yes or no to strippers? Pole dancing classes? If the bride is uncomfortable at her own bachelorette, she'll be miserable.
5. Errand Runner.
-On wedding day itself, the house party girls tend to run the last minute errands ("I forgot my deodorant! Will you run and grab me some?"). But in the weeks before the wedding, it's all on you, MOH. Any last minute dress pick ups, RSVP call backs, and decoration making that needs to be done falls on you. Remind the bride constantly that you are there to help.
6. Rehearsal Dinner.
-You will need to attend the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner if they have one. I was unaware of this rule, but it's apparently bad luck for the bride to walk down the isle until actual wedding day. She may ask you to walk in her place at the rehearsal so they can work out music timing. As if I've never felt single enough, I got to walk down the isle to my best friend's groom.
7. Wedding day support.
-This one should have it's own sub-responsibilities. Wedding day is what it's all about. As MOH on wedding day, you'll be responsible for making sure everyone gets hair, makeup, and dresses on in time. You will help the bride put on her dress (make sure your own makeup is done by then, because many photographers like to photog this part). You will arrange the bride's veil and train just before she walks down the isle and once she reaches the end. You will hold her bouquet during the ceremony (better start working those arms now, those things are heavy). You will hold the grooms ring until it's time for her to place it on his finger. You will make a toast at her reception, dance with the best man, and make sure everyone has a good time. Bustle her dress, help her in the bathroom (awkward alert!), and help her change into another dress should she have one. Most importantly, you should be there for her emotional support the entire day. Carry a tissue at all times!
Most of these topics will be elaborated on in subsequent posts, but this is the basic list to get you started.
It may seem overwhelming, and it can be. But remember that this is an amazing time. Laugh with your bride-friend. Cry with her. Get drunk with her. Do whatever you can to help her. Just don't forget to keep being her friend while you're her MOH. That's what got you the job in the first place.
-Taylor
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